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Welcome to the last site you will ever read!

[Apocalypse a-pok'al-ips: The sudden and unexpected end of the world, destruction of all things and time of final reckoning.
cf.Armageddon,Last Trumpet,Big Whammy,ELE]

The Apocalypse, the very thought makes mighty men shudder, warriors sweat and some fervent religious people to write vast tracts of bible analyses on the web.
Click on for details of The Apocalypse and how to spot it happening near you.

However, these fears need be no more! At last science allows us to accurately predict the precise moment of Armageddon by using a vast array of quantum state superstring nets, each vibrating at 7,000,585,370 quivers per second! By using incredibly sensitive sensors floating in Holy Water, we can gain up to 5 minutes advance notice of impending Total Destruction.

By coupling this with sensors in every major city in the world, we can give you up to ten hours notice of the Final Curtain direct to your mobile phone!

But that's not all! Why not queue a message to be sent to a loved one, or even your mortal enemy just before The End -- here you really can have the Last Word!
Click on for details of this incredible service.

We also bring you the Final Countdown in Real Time ticking away those Final Seconds and showing you the status of the major cities in the world.
Click on for this plus our exclusive Hubble Space Telescope reverse angle view of the World as it is destroyed!

When the world is ending, most of us can think of nothing better than hopping into bed with a virgin to while away those last precious minutes.
Click on for our special virgin locator tool

You too can be part of Armageddon! As a special and discrete service to our members, we offer an exciting and reasonably priced range of Nuclear Weapons; all completely unused and with instruction manuals in a range of languages.
Click on for details of our current range (note that nuclear weapon sales is dependent on your status and may result in the loss of your home)

Warning: careful reading of your existing insurance policies will show you that they all specifically exclude Acts of God, Force Majeure and The End Of The World.
Not us! We can now offer you Special Protection Insurance against the end of the world, loss of life, limb and property with a special option in case the Tax Office come at you after the event!
Click on for information on our special cover.

WIN WIN WIN in our exclusive competition.
$10,000,000 could be yours simply by correctly predicting the End Of The World!
Click on to enter and to see other people's best guess.

Finally why not register with us -- membership is FREE and confidential. Fill in the survey and see what some other members think about the End Of The World.
Click on to join.

Comments and bugs to bugs@apocalypse-to-go.com   Copyright © 2001-2009, Jules Greenwall.   This page last updated: 18 Oct 2017